Horrible day

Today has been a horrible day.  I have so much drama with one of my friends it's making my life a living hell so I told her today...I'm done..it's time for me to think about me.  All this drama is stressing me out for no good reason at all.  So after I came home from dealing with her and her drama I took a break and read some more out of my book.  When I read Tweak I go into a different world where I don't have to worry about real life problems..I can just focus on the drama in the book..and I can see the end and I know it's all going to end then that's it..the book is over and I move on to the next one. I guess life is kinda like that..you have to deal with certain peoples problems and when your done with their crap..you shut them out of your life because toxic people aren't gonna get you anywhere in life.  But when you shut them out...another needy person comes running into your life with 50 new problems and the cycle continues til the day you die...how depressing is that? I feel like when I read about Lauren (Nic's girlfriend) she just wants to get help and get away from Nic.  I think Nic is that toxic person in her life that she trys so hard to get away from but she always goes back because she loves him but I think maybe the only reason she thinks she loves him is because he's the one giving her all the drugs she's doing and when they are making love their high on meth and it makes her feel a different way then she would if she were sober.  My friend and I are like that in ways.  She's my toxic person in my life and she keeps coming back into my life day after day and i'm so tired of it. My body is just tired.  I need to focus on the good people I have in my life that aren't stupid about their life choices and that are going somewhere in their lives.  I need to be around people that can set an example or someone that I can talk to about school or work...not someone that does nothing all day and wants everything to be handed to them.  Some people think i'm being cruel but it's just not my job to care about everyone all the time..I don't have the energy for it anymore.. I hope Lauren finds it in herself to stay in rehab and fix all of her issues and I hope Nic lets her go because he knows he's bad for her to be around because she wants to change and he doesn't. You can't make someone want to change anything about themselves..simple as that...if someone doesn't want to get clean from whatever drug they chose to be on..then you can't do anything to make that person what to quit.  People have to be strong enough to do it alone and without the help of other people every step of the way.  When my ex used to try and tell me how to live my life and tell me what to do...I dropped him because I'm old enough to make my own choices and I'm mature enough and not stupid so I can make those choices. Some just chose to think they are above the law and they can do whatever they want to do whenever they want to do it.  And people like that...end up on the street, sellin' drugs, in jail, or dead...that's just life and some people aren't strong enough to handle it.  But that's their problem and they have no business putting that on other people. It feels so good getting all this off my shoulders because today...I just don't care...I'm gonna do me.

J-Momma