Sick Day

Well I've been feeling pretty shitty lately and I slept like all day yesterday so I stayed home from school.  Partly cause I didn't feel good...partly because I had a bunch of homework..and partly because I hate Homestead and the people in it. So I slept in today and had to deal with a bunch of stupid family shit. I should have just gone to school so I wouldn't have to deal with this.  I tried to get out of my life and into Nic's life cause he's got it a lot harder then me but he put himself there and I didn't do anything to deserve any of this.  Nic had a good life and a good family, they didn't have money problems but his parents got divorced and that sucks. That's about the only thing in my life that doesn't suck. My parents are still married but we have a ton of issues. I'm trying to buy a car but I'm too young to get a loan so I have to through my mom and pay her every month but by the looks of it I'm not getting the car and I'm pretty pissed about it.  She feels bad and tries to help but it just pisses me off even more.  I'm so sick of worrying about money and I'm only 17 and I have the weight of so many peoples lives on my shoulders and I hate it.  I just wanna get away from all this.  I wanna go to college far away from here and far away from anyone I know so I can worry about me and my school work and my career but I can't do that. I have to stay here and fix everything...like always.  Nic just picked up and left everyone he cared about for drugs..he just wanted to hang out with girls and get high with his friends. He's not concerned about his family or the people he used to care about because they can stand on their own two feet but he can't.  I feel like my world is the opposite.  I feel like everyone around me needs me 24 hours a day and to bring money in to pay for all my own stuff but there just isn't enough time in the day for me to get everything done that I need to do.  I have so much homework but the days I'm off I just wanna see my friends cause I don't think about my problems as much but then I have to sit there and hear about there problems and act like I care but I really don't anymore...all the highschool drama is just stupid. I took myself out of it...I don't date guys from my high school anymore because their immature and don't have a clue about life after high school.  I just can't wait to get out of this place and move on from the stupid drama.

J-Momma